In Awesome Wonder

Spearfish Falls, Spearfish, South Dakota, August, 2015

This is me.

Dylan told me recently that I am "a really good starter but not a very good finisher".  Hmmm.  THIS from the child who can not remember to put deodorant on after a shower (speaking of not finishing well).  But honestly, he's right.  How do you think he knew?  Was it the paint that was purchased and has been sitting by the front door all summer?  Is it the fabric and crafting supplies that I purchased after a Pinterest marathon that are now piling up in the storage room?  Is it fact that I was a 20th year college Senior this past year (not an exaggeration)?

The fact is that it could be any one of those things.  Or more likely it is something that he has simply witnessed that I am unconscious to.  

But it's ok.  It has taken me a long time to learn who I am and to understand who I am not:

I am motivated by appreciation and significance.  

I'm an introvert who can act well enough to occasionally play the role of an extrovert.

I'm a dreamer.  

I am more resourceful than artistic. 

I am scarred by the things I have seen. 

I am creative and emotional.  

I am a risk-taker and a spender.

I'm selfish about sleep, the last dessert and massages.  

I hate talking on the phone.

I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom but I don't have the patience or stamina.  

I want to travel everywhere except Canada.

I have an irrational and sometimes paralyzing fear of suicide affecting my family. 

I don't ever want my kids to move away.

I'm not very good at maintaining friendships.

I am a Christian who tries to live a Godly life but every day falls short of the glory.  Every day.

... and yes,  I'm a really good starter and not a very good finisher.  

Sir Isaac Newton meets God

Nothing in this life is static.  I'm not talking about the whole earth spinning on it's access thing or the earth moving around the sun.  I'm not even talking about how many Anoka County ambulances are set into motion when one truck takes a call in Blaine. I'm talking more about a twist on Sir Isaac Newton's third law of physics.  It's a simple equation of F1= -F2.  My sixth grader learned this in science.  I've personally learned this when I tried to ride a skateboard.  Once.  Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  But here's the twist.  Newton never researched how this applies to our personal life, interactions and relationships. 

Think about your garden.  A lot of effort goes into it every spring.  The ground is tilled and the soil is hopefully dark and filled with moisture and nutrients.  The seeds are chosen and planted with much thought and care.  And then the wait.  Doing nothing. Watching.  And then, after doing nothing, there might be a little peek of green that pokes through the surface.  Is it a sprout or a weed?  Oh, it's a weed.  Just leave it.  Do nothing.  Until, not so suddenly, after weeks of doing nothing (which is an action by the way), the entire garden is covered with weeds (the reaction) and my harvest will certainly be affected.

Now think about your marriage.  In the beginning, a lot of action is taken to nurture your relationship.  We all know this.  Leaving little notes, wearing that favorite dress when you'd really prefer yoga pants, spending time together just talking (even when there is housework to be done).  Nurturing your partner and your union is hard work.  I'm not proud of the fact that over the years I sometimes chose to do nothing.  Just leave it.  Do nothing.  And then not so suddenly, after weeks (months) of doing nothing, my marriage was suffering.  We found ourselves trying to dig out of the weeds that had begun to overgrow the harvest. 

I consider then, how Newton's Law applies to my spiritual relationships as well.  You see, there is no standing still.  We are all either nurturing our faith or slowly allowing the weeds to smother us.  If we are not moving closer to God we are moving away from Him. 



Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:19–20.

And so, yesterday was like a scene out of biblical history.  Just as the disciple John would baptize crowds of Christ followers, in 2014 we sat on a hill overlooking a beautiful body of water as witness to this profound event.  Our family was baptized together.  Biblically, it is an act of obedience.     Spiritually, it is my action.  It is my forward motion.  It is my understanding that moving further from God is not an option and thus I must be moving closer.  F1= -F2

 

One Lord, one faith, one baptism ~Ephesians 4:5

 

Staycation Day 1

06/30/2014
   
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. ~ Psalm 139:13

God's Not Helping Me

Last Wednesday, after dragging himself home from another baseball defeat, Dylan sorrowfully announce that "God is not helping me win".  You see, this is Dylan's very first year playing organized baseball and their team is,... how can I put this nicely?... Ummmm.  Not good.  They haven't won a game yet this year and keeping this team of 12 year olds motivated is a full time job.  I was watching the coach at the last game and thought that he must be exhausted.  

Winning is fun.  No doubt about it.  But my suggestion is that we might find God's purpose in this event without focusing on the winning.  We spoke about sportsmanship.  God uses our everyday adventures to help us learn life lessons.  
  
Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him. ~ Proverbs 24: 17-18

And baseball is a great way to understand the need to learn and follow the rules of the game.  Not all of life is a sporting event, but all of live has rules; written and unwritten. 

An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. ~ 2 Timothy 2:5
   
And lastly, probably the reason that I most encouraged Dylan to participate in ANY sport this summer, is that God encourages our socialization and fellowship.

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Don't give up Dylan boy.  Altough it seems like winning is the goal, the reward is in the teachable moments you're living every day. 

PS.   Please please please let them win just ONE game!!!

I Have An Announcement.

It's a rainy Saturday morning.  The dogs are laying on top of the new-ish furniture.  Again.  The laundry is piling up in my bathroom.  Again.  Our bedrooms are a disaster of Lego remnants, knick-knacks that always need dusting and clothes.  I hate the clothes.   They sit too long on the dresser until I rummage around them to find something and eventually I can't tell if it's been worn or is still clean. 

So I walked down to the kitchen with an announcement. 
"I have an announcement.  I am officially going through a phase".
My husband looks at me and sits silently, blinking, expressionless, as he picked up his coffee cup.  I know he's bracing himself.  I've gone through phases before.  I smile.
"I don't hear any groans", I say. 
He replies, "Oh, I'm thinking it.  ... I'm waiting." 

Anne pipes in.  "Are you going to starting dressing like a teenager?"
Ha.  Baby, I've been through that phase about a decade ago.  I'm over that.  Like a bad hairstyle in the eighties...  it was not good. 

"I have decided that I am purging.  I'm downsizing.  I'm getting rid of everything I don't truly need."
And instantly I see the glimmer, just a passing shadow, of panic (or was it relief) on my husband's face.  He knows that my purging phase will soon be in direct conflict with his hoarder phase.  Wait.  No.  He's a hoarder.  No phase involved. 

It all started from this silly Facebook posting.  15 Reasons Couples Should Vacation Instead of Buy Stuff.  But it has me thinking.  I want memories with my children, and activities and adventures.  I care about stuff, but I don't want to.  And I am in control of my choices.  I can decide what's important.  Because it's true.  Where you spend your money is an illustration of your priorities.

So... garage sale, yard sale, donations.  It's going.  Don't look for me at Target.  Don't look for me at a high class boutique.  Look for me at a waterfall, on a trail, in the ocean, watching a sunset or on an airplane.  It's time to stop trudging through the stuff that prevents us from making memories and time to start slow dancing on a sandy beach somewhere. 

I hope its not really a phase.  I hope its a lifestyle change. Wish me luck.

  
And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not exist in the abundance of his possessions.” ~ Luke 12:15

Top ten reasons to love being the biggest girl in school

My girlie is the biggest girl in her class.  I think she's the biggest girl (or boy) in the school.
We made a list of the top ten awesome parts of being the biggest.

10.  When the teacher needs to reach something high, she asks you

9.  You can make the smaller kids bounce really high on the trampoline.

8.  You can double your wardrobe by wearing your Mom's clothes too (the stuff that's not ugly).

7.  You can see over everyone else in the lunchroom (and everywhere).

6.  Your Mom can find you easy on the playground. 

5.  You can carry your friends on your back when they get tired of walking. 

4.  You easily go over the hurdles at track and field day.

3.  You get a big person bed sooner than kids still sleeping in kid beds.

2.  Your friends always recognize you right away (out of school).



and the number one awesome reason for being the biggest kid in school is:

1.  You can ride all the rides at the amusement park!